I gave up Social Media for a semester, and it went like…

Yes, you are reading that title correctly…from the beginning of January, until the end of April, I deleted all my social media apps. Why in the world would I do that? Well, let me explain myself.

I am a graduate student who just completed my first year in a Master’s of Counseling program. During my second semester, I took a Foundations of Addictions class where I learned all about how to support and counsel people who struggle with an addiction. My professor was awesome, and knew that for us to truly get what recovering from an addiction feels like, we had to give something up for the course of the semester. I contemplated what I was willing to live without for a few months…coffee? Netflix? Sugar? But, as you have probably gathered already, I chose to give up social media.

For some of you, you may be thinking, what is the big deal? It can’t be that hard! And to be honest, I was thinking the exact same thing when I started this project, but little did I know how much I would take away from this experience.

After about a week, I began to realize how much I used my social media to fill the empty spaces I had in my life. I had forgotten what it felt like to be bored because I had become so used to going on anytime I had those in-between moments. I began to panic when I was in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, or before bed when I had nothing to do. While beginning to feel hopelessly bored, I also started to taste the freedom that came with not knowing what everyone else was doing, and the comparison game that comes along with that. I could just live my life and be ignorant to the things I was missing. 

While dancing in the freedom of just doing my own thing, I was also left dealing with the feelings that I usually can escape from as I filled my time with social media. I had all this time on my hands to get lost in my own thoughts and come face to face with aspects of my life that I have tried to run from. I was forced to feel the loss of a friend that I had tried to distract myself from and come to terms with the insecurities I have about my ability to be a good wife, student, and employee. 

Although I cannot speak on behalf of those who battle an addiction, this process gave me some insight on the why behind turning to a substance when faced with negative emotions and circumstances. The truth is, we all have things that we turn to when we do not want to face what is going on around us and to us. 

Toward the end of the semester, I began to question whether or not I would download my social media apps again once the project was over. I was torn. I missed connecting with my friends and being in “the know.” I wondered if people had realized I was even off of it, and if they would be excited to see me back on. On the other hand, I liked the person I was becoming when I was no longer scrolling and comparing myself to other people on the internet. It is easy to get lost in a trap of comparison and becoming discontent with your own life because of the highlight reel you are constantly seeing on your screen. I decided that if I did go back to it, it needed to be for the right reasons. 

The greatest gift I received from this experience was my growth in empathy. I came face to face with the reality that I am way more similar to individuals who struggle with addiction than I am different. I use social media, food, relationships, Netflix, etc., all to escape from the realities in life that feel to heavy to deal with head on.  

My reason for sharing this journey with you is not to convince you to delete all your social media accounts—because to be honest with you, I have re-downloaded them and become active once again. I share this with you because I want to shine a light on the fact that as a society, we tend to view those who have an addiction as outcasts. I encourage you to explore the things you partake in that distract you from the things you are too afraid to address. 

At the end of the day, we will all have to face the things we are running from. Past trauma, loss, insecurities, mistakes we’ve made…we can put it off, but we will never truly be at peace until we let ourselves feel and do the work it takes to move forward. 

As a first year counseling student, I am in no way an expert on any of this, but I do know from personal experience that when I give myself the space to truly embrace the world around me, especially in those in-between moments, I am able to take small steps forward to becoming the person I have always wanted to be. 

With grace, 

Julia